What Is Tim Doing?

Tim is sitting at his desk relaxing after a hard day's Christmas shopping. He's in a robe and pajamas, and he's enjoying the cool winter's air as he sits back and takes in a movie - one of those new James Bond deals, with the suave British man running around shooting people in the face and quipping things like "Looks like a real faceshot," only much better.

But the most important thing Tim is doing right now, the thing prompting a post in his oft ignored blog, is figuring out a new way to eat cake. And he'd like to share that with everyone.

See, Tim doesn't have a baking pan. Tim can't eat baked goods like other people do. Tim has to improvise. So Tim is taking the cake mix, foregoing the egg and oil, and dumping it bit by bit into a small glass and mixing it with water. The product is very much like pudding, only with Funfetti specks and clumps of powder, which makes it so, so much better.

Does Tim feel like a desperate fat man trapped in an unhealthy thin man's body? Yes he does. Does Tim's head vibrate from the inhuman amount of sugar being consumed? You bet. But does Tim still have his craving for cake? No. No he does not. Because Tim can't dream of eating cake again for at least another year.